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The Unfinished Spelling Errors of Bolkien

The Legolas & Gimli Song...Lyrics
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Legolas:     Anything you can do I can do better

             I can do anything better than you

 

Gimli:       No you can't!

Legolas:     Yes I can!

Gimli:       No you can't!

Legolas:     Yes I can!

Gimli:       No you can't!

Legolas:     Yes I can, Yes I can!

 

Legolas:     Any Orc you can kill I can kill quicker,

             With my pig sticker I'm slicker than you.

 

Gimli:       No you're not!

Legolas:     Yes I am!

Gimli:       No you're not!

Legolas:     Yes I am!

Gimli:       No you're not!

Legolas:     Yes I am, Yes I am!

 

Legolas:     I'm not scared of Strider, or a giant spider.

Gimli:       I'm not scared of Uruks, Oliphants or Wargs.

             I'm not scared, of anything!

Legolas:     The Witch King of Angmar?

Gimli:       Ach, he fights like my grandma.

 

Gimli:       Anything you can do I can do better,

             I can do anything better than you

 

Legolas:     No you can't!

Gimli:       Yes I can!

Legolas:     No you can't!

Gimli:       Yes I can!

Legolas:     No you can't!

Gimli:       Yes I can, Yes I can!

 

Gimli:       Any blow you can throw I can go lower,

             Below the belt it comes natural to me.

 

Legolas:     Hip and Thigh?

Gimli:       Way too high!

Legolas:     Think I'll pass...

Gimli:       Bite your ass!

Legolas:     No you can't!

Gimli:       Yes I can, Yes I can!

 

Gimli:       I can cut a troll up with a single wallop.

Legolas:     I can kill an Orc with a knife and fork.

             I'm much nicer than a dwarf.

Gimli:       Can your mummy sew?

Legolas:     Yeah, she crochet me this bow Ha!

 

Legolas:     Anything you can do I can do better

             I can do anything better than you

 

Legolas:     Any girl you can woo, I can woo...fonder

             Sooner or later I'm blonder than you

 

Gimli:       You're a dear!

Legolas:     Yes I am!

Gimli:       Pointy eared!

Legolas:     Yes I am!

Gimli:       Are you queer?

Legolas:     Yes I am! Yes I...What was that third thing?

 

Gimli:       Any hair you can grow I can grow triple

             Kneecap to nipple, I'm hairier than you

 

Legolas:     Oh, Yes you are!

Gimli:       Yes I am!

Legolas:     Have a trim!

Gimli:       Grow a beard!

Legolas:     Get a shave!

Gimli:       Least I can, Least I can!

 

Legolas:     I can shoot a sparrow, with a bow and arrow.

Gimli:       I can make it splatter, and a good deal flatter.

             I can beat up anything!

Legolas:     Can you beat up Sauron?

Gimli:       Ach, don't be a moron

 

Both:        Anything you can do (Anything you can do)

             I can do better (I can do better)

 

Both:        Yes I can!

             Yes I cannnn....!